It took me back to my first real encounters with God. It was when emotionally, mentally, spiritually I was going through very rough times in my life. I thank God that I was able to hear His call on my life and turn to Him when times got tough. That's how a lot of us find the Lord, when we are in pits and valleys. When we are on the mountaintops, we don't see a need for God, or tend to forget about Him.
Well in my most recent journey of coming back to that first love, I felt a bit upset. I thought "God why did you have to take me back to my past? Why did I have to experience so much crap to get me back to this place of complete dependency on you? If you ask me, it seems kinda mean. Why didn't you just tell me to get back in your word and save me all the drama?" Well, I am sure if that would have actually worked, then He would have done that. But I was not in a position of seeking out His voice on a daily basis. I hadn't opened my Bible in a while, so how was he going to get my attention? The inner turmoil I went through mentally, spiritually and emotionally didn't come from Him, it was an open doorway for Satan to set his traps and all hell broke loose. What Satan meant for harm, God used it for His glory!!
I felt deeply in my spirit over that weekend God answered me saying, "Michelle, I don't want you to treat me or my word like a medicine to fix you up and make you all better so you can go on your way. Think of me like a multivitamin, I want you on a daily regimen of Me and getting into My word. This will prevent any more footholds for the enemy when you stay near me and with me."
God's word brings healing like no pill, doctor or exercise can. But only if we truly stick with it, will we reap the benefits of it. I remember my mom used to get the Guidepost magazines and in each one was a section entitled, "His Mysterious Ways". In these articles were stories of the Lord working through people's lives in unusual ways and uplifting testimony's of God's goodness and grace. God will work in your life different from how he might work in someone elses. We each go through our own journey that might have a little more drama, flair, intensity to reach the same destination: a close, intimate relationship with Him.
However God is working in your life may seem strange to you or others around you, it may seem unfair or difficult. But, if He brings you to it, He will bring you through it! If we saw the big picture like He does, it would make a lot more sense. God doesn't require us to understand, but obedience. Obedience in His leading and trusting that He is in control.
Allow Him to bring you back to that first love and not just visit there, but stay there. His love for me I'll never comprehend, or his reasons why, but the fact is.... He loves me and He loves you! Throughout all of our lives whether we are following Him or estranged from Him at the moment, He never stops pursuing us.