Monday, November 2, 2015

Our Heart's Song: Rachel's Story

Finding hope

I sat on the floor with my chin resting on my knees and my arms wrapped around my legs. Tears poured down my cheeks. I bit my lip to hold back the sobs. I didn’t want to wake my baby from her afternoon nap as she slept peacefully in the travel cot opposite me. As despair churned in my stomach, I pushed down the desire to howl out loud. I could hear the television in the next room as my husband sat watching Sunday afternoon sports. He knew I wasn’t happy, but I didn’t want to burden him with the extent of my distress.

I loved my husband and my five-month-old blue-eyed daughter, but I couldn’t stand for a moment longer the life I now had. Actually, it wasn’t a life—it felt more like a shadow of existence.

I had left my home behind, across the other side of the Atlantic. There I had a career, a cozy home with a garden we had dreamed of owning for a long time and had purchased a year earlier, lunches with girlfriends, morning walks with my dog in the park, and a chance to show off the newest grandchild.

Now I found myself in a strange country mourning the lifestyle I missed, muddling through in a rented apartment, and knowing no one.

I could see no way out. I didn’t know where to turn.

“I don’t know what to do.” I screamed silently. Then suddenly, in the midst of my pain, I remembered God.

“Help me,” I cried. I hadn’t spoken to God for a long time.

Yet, at that moment, I knew he heard my plea. In an instance I felt an overwhelming sense of peace.

God had taken notice of me even though I had turned my back on him for years, and had decided I could live my life without him. God didn’t ignore me for deciding to go my own way, and thinking I knew better.

The moment I turned to him, I experienced his grace poured out on me. He met me in my misery, declared abundant love for me, and set me free to start living again.

But with one touch, you set me free, you met me in my deepest need, says the song by Kathryn Scott. These words tell my story of how God rescued me. I hope it is your story, too.

Author Bio

Rachel Britton is an author, blogger and speaker. Raised on the east coast of England, Rachel now lives in Massachusetts with her husband and three children. Rachel is passionate about helping women become healthier in their relationship with God, with others, and with themselves, and to thrive from the inside out. You can find out more about Rachel at

(This post was written by Rachel Britton as a part of the Our Heart's Song Blog Series this year. I encourage you to read her story and check out her website. This is one of the many incredible women that I had the privilege to meet at the SheSpeaks Conference I attended in July 2015.)

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